Silence and Solitude.....literally

One Friday, a couple of weeks ago my brave husband ushered me out the front door for a weekend retreat.  My agenda was simple: to hear from God and I felt excited to be shrugging off the challenges of everyday life. 
 
That afternoon, I arrived at my destination - a Redhill winery/B&B.  The host welcomed me,  handed over the key & announced that I would be the only one on the property.  With the promise of returning the next morning with my breakfast, she drove off into the sunset.  I was surprised to be so alone, but then thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tune into God.
 
However, by 8:30 that evening, I was really struggling.  With a self-imposed rule of no tv or radio, I felt anxious & lonely.  The distant howling & the creaks of an unfamiliar house only made things worse.  I finally succumbed to turning the tv on with the promise of rising early to spend more time with God.
 
It wasn't difficult to wake early as I slept poorly that first night.  The sunrise was beautiful as my room overlooked the vines.  I started praying, reading & then I felt it time to listen.  So I said "God, I'm ready to hear what's on your mind".....then I waited.....& waited...& waited.  But there was no bellowing voice, no gentle voice & no miraculous signs.  I waited some more & then I started wondering if God actually hangs out in wineries (The very gracious Pastor David has since reminded me of the role that vineyards & wines play in the Bible). 
 
I spent the rest of my retreat reading, praying, enjoying a sip or two of the local wines &, of course, waiting. But I didn't hear from God that whole weekend. I feel a bit strange that my 'simple' agenda was not completed.  It's clear that God's plan was different to mine (& rightly so.)  However, I did discover two interesting things about myself. 
 
Firstly, I'm not quite the introvert I thought I was.  There were times during that weekend where I was very lonely & craved human contact.
 
Secondly, through completing the survey at the end of "The Passionate Church" book, I found that I'm a Pastor!  Whilst, this doesn't encourage me to make contact with the Bible College of Victoria, it does help me work out my role in the church & wider community.
 
So would I do it again? Yes          
 
When? As often as my husband goes trout fishing!
 
Lisa Harris
17 March 2008